Reflection - one of four ingredients in the recipe for personal growth

The cycle of human consciousness I promote as a simple formulae for a fulfilling life is as follows:

1.  Connection:  taking time out to be alone at one with ourselves and the universe allows us to connect and live our life with presence.
   
2. Presence:  being fully conscious and grounded in all we do, being there in the moment for everyone we meet.
3. Right action:  resulting from being fully present, at other times we react in reflex and unconscious manner.
4. Reflection:  allowing us to learn from what worked and what didn’t.  Looking back we can see very clearly when we acted with presence and whether our time in connection helped.

 In this article, I’d like to spend some time considering the last step of the cycle, reflection.

 cycles of reflection

 Let’s take stock of the times when we have reflected.  Our reflection often goes in cycles.  It is often unnoticed.  The more we are aware of our reflection, the more powerful it becomes.

daily cycles

We naturally reflect on a daily basis, sometimes at the end of the day, maybe sitting by the fire, perhaps as we lie in bed before we drift off to sleep.  Sometimes it even happens first thing in the morning, especially if the night before was hectic or even wild.  If we are wise, perhaps we take time out at lunchtime to be alone or to share thoughts of the morning with our colleagues and friends.

weekly cycles

Then, there are the weekly cycles.  In most faiths there is a weekly opportunity to give thanks and also to confess wrongdoings.  But even if we do not belong to a particular denomination, we might still have a special day of the week for reflection and appreciation.  Perhaps we simply sit down with our family and friends for a special weekly meal.  In my home, Sunday lunch is very special and there is both reflection on the week gone by as well as sharing plans for the one to come.

monthly cycles

Monthly reflection happens too.  Perhaps we give ourselves structure by formally making a monthly report or even something as mundane as an expenses return.  Maybe as we’re claiming expenses for a journey, we will pause to reflect whether it was indeed a good journey.  Or perhaps we plan our diaries on a monthly basis, taking tasks from our list and putting them into real time slots.

annual or seasonal cycles

Then of course there are the annual or seasonal cycles.  I find that during summer holidays I often find a quiet spot in an inspiring place and just reflect on my life in general.  What’s working and what isn’t?  Similarly in the winter at the end of one year and in anticipation of the one to come.  Was that a good year?  What will I build on?  What will I do more of?  What must I stop doing?

opportunistic times

And then there are other more ad-hoc or fluid times such as on journeys.  Over the years, I have probably reflected more on trains and in airport lounges than anywhere else.

big reflections

Finally there are what I call the “big reflections”.  Just before passing my job as MD at Primeast to my friend and colleague, Russell, I spent a few days in the mountains at Chiang Mai in Thailand.  I meditated, which of course is more about connection than reflection.  But I also reflected on a phase of my life that was ending.  What had worked that I could celebrate?  What could I have done differently?  Was I even doing the right thing by moving on?

helping each other to reflect

We can help each other reflect by sincerely asking things like, “How’s your day been?” Or, if we haven’t seen someone for a while, perhaps we ask about their year or their summer and so on.  Sometimes our questions are more context based, asking about the person’s job or family. 

When we engage with people in this way, the manner of our engagement is really important.  Usually when we ask how someone’s day has been, we do so simply as a matter of courtesy.  Are we aware that the same question asked in sincerity and with a follow-up question or comment can really help them to take stock and perhaps celebrate something they’ve achieved?  Try it.  Just on your own, rehearse a simple question like, “How’s the job going?”  Feel the difference between the throw-away comment and the sincere expression if interest.

providing structure

If we’re in a position to do so, we can provide structure for ourselves and for those around us for more reflection time.  I’ve done a bit of this, such as encouraging shared meals at work and at home.  I’m even a fan of monthly reporting at work because it keeps us focussed and doing the right things.  For me, I consciously make the most of journeys as described above.

doing more

But even writing this article has grown my awareness.  I hope it’s done the same for you.  What more can we do to consciously create opportunities for ourselves and others?

Here are the thoughts that are emerging for me:

• I will enjoy even more the opportunities I can provide for family, friends and colleagues to eat and share reflective time together
• I will encourage reflection through my work on the Sacred Space project (see below)
• I will take time to be alone in the countryside and in meditation
• When I reflect I will capture the ideas that emerge and act on them
• I will recognise reflective time for what it is and appreciate it a whole lot more

keep in touch

If you find this article meaningful, please share your comments with me and others.  Let me know what you think and do encourage others to engage as well.

Sacred space is a project that promotes awareness in human consciousness. 

http://sacred-space.ning.com/